Eye contact, for me, is more than merely looking; it is a way to communicate with someone, a non-physical touch.  You both send and receive information when connecting with someone in this way.  To make the most of it, you need to be intentional in your gazing.  Here are a few suggestions for making contact with your eyes.

1. Stop Scanning.  Many beginning speakers learn to take the “scariness” out of the requirement to make eye contact by learning to look up from their notes and move their head from side to side.  Their face is angled so they could see the different parts of the room, but their gaze is vacant, not focused on any person or object – they are probably still reading pieces of their notes in their minds-eye.  This is not eye contact, but it is a step to learning to look up from your notes.  In order to make actual eye contact, pause your head movement and actually focus on a person in the audience. Notice if they are looking back at you.  Give the next line or two of your speech specifically to that person, then move on to the next piece of information and another person.
2. Listen with your eyes.  While you are focusing on that person and sharing your information, let yourself see them.  How are they reacting to you?  They may sit up and pay closer attention or get flustered because you caught them looking at their text messages.  Do they seem at ease or uncomfortable?  Does their response match others in the room?  Is your message getting through and causing the reaction that you want in your audience?  If not, you need to do something differently.
3. Too much.  When speaking to a group, sometimes a speaker is more comfortable connecting with one side of the room.  Be aware of this.  Ask someone you know to sit on the other side of the room to remind you to look at them – and ask them to tell you if they felt neglected.

   When speaking in a small group or one-to-one, these rule change a bit.  It is still a good idea to connect with each person, making everyone feel included in the conversation even if they are listening more than they are speaking.  Direct eye contact is usually a few seconds at a time, so remember to blink, look away, and get a sense of the other persons’ comfort level before extending the length of your gaze.  A few signals that you’re making “too much” eye contact could be when the other person:

   1. looks away – then back – then away again,
   2. begins to fidget,
   3. responds in an unclear fashion, or
   4. looks around and attempts to draw others into the conversation.

Communication is two-way conversation, even when one person is doing most of the talking.  Information is being sent and received by everyone involved.  We have more opportunities to receive (2 ears and 2 eyes) than to send (1 mouth) for a good reason – learn to use all your senses to be a more effective communicator.

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(c) 2013, Kimmey Training and Consulting, LLC. Peggy Kimmey is a professional speaker and communication coach. Learn more about her at www.kimmeyconsulting.com

One reason people come to me for help with their communication or leadership skills is their worries about how they will be judged – on the words they choose to say, on the gestures they make when speaking…

The first tip I share with them is. “It’s not about you!”  That comes as a surprise to them because they are “The Presenter” – the one who is sharing a message, standing in front of the board meeting, or being asked for guidance. And I’m happy to help them polish their communication skills.

But the bottom line is to understand what your audience needs.   Who are they- Customers? Staff? Team Members? Board of Directors?  You’ve been asked to share something with them.  It’s about them – what do they need to hear?  What do they need to learn from your experiences, your expertise, your guidance?  How can you make their efforts easier, their burdens lighter, their decisions easier?

That does not mean “What do you want them to know?”  It’s easy to slide into telling them what you want them to know about your products, about your project, about your challenges.  But if it doesn’t help them get to their next step – to see their path more clearly – they will not be ready to hear your message.  They have to see the value that your message brings to them.

Share from your unique experiences, unique talents, unique perspective.  When you give them something of value that they can apply to their lives, then you have been an effective communicator – an effective leader!

What’s gotten in the way of your progress?  I can rationalize what’s happened to me – but you’ve heard the play on words about those excuses being “rational lies,” right?  If I’m honest, I’ll admit that I  allowed myself to get distracted with unplanned activities.

The very first chapter in John Maxwell’s book “The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth – Live Them and Reach Your Potential” is about the Law of Intention and subtitled Growth Doesn’t Just Happen.  Right away John points out eight “Growth Gap Traps,” basically our excuses for not doing the things that need to be done in order to achieve the things we “intend” to achieve. But better than simply explaining these traps, John finishes the chapter with action steps to get us back on track to achieving our goals.  Because unless I take action, I’ll never reach my goals no matter how much I “intend” to.

I’ll share with you the step that had the most impact on me (from Chapter 1): schedule a little time each day to take action.  Though I’ve heard it before, the specific direction to “Take out my calendar and schedule the time” was what I really needed to hear.  I thought just “intending” to spend time each day, when I “had a few minutes” would be enough, but looking back over the last 3 months, it wasn’t.  When I put something in my calendar, I’m pretty good about getting it done, and it’s there to remind me to add that time to another day so I stay on track if I missed it.

I’m looking forward to growing through the rest of this insightful book.  But I also know that I’ve started other books before – even others with steps to implement along the way.  I always “intend” to finish the book and implement what I learn, but…  That’s why this time I’m doing something different!  I’m gathering a Mastermind group to meet virtually each week, to hold each other accountable for reading and implementing the action steps, and to support each other with encouragement and a different perspective to give us all a better chance of finishing the book – and Reaching Our Potential.

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If you’d like to know more about the Mastermind group go to: www.kimmeyconsulting.com/15-Laws.html

Have you ever heard the joke that someone has been “promoted to their level of incompetence”?  Sadly, I see this happen frequently.  Someone exhibits great skill in their area of expertise.  The company wants to reward them and have them teach those skills to more people.  So they are placed in a leadership role, but not taught how to teach, motivate, or influence the people they are expected to lead.

“Leadership is Influence.”  ~John C. Maxwell

The Law of the Lid states: “Leadership ability is the lid that determines a person’s level of effectiveness. The lower an individual’s ability to lead, the lower the lid on his potential”

Where do your leadership skills shine in your life?

Entrepreneurs, with a solo or very small business, whom do you lead?  You may participate in your local chamber or trade association – lead there.  Know the other businesses that your clientele use, and be able to make recommendations or suggestions that will help them beyond your products or services.  Read and share what you learn with others in your circle of influence.

Are you in a larger organization or government structure?  There are often committees you can volunteer for or trade associations you can participate with.  Join a club or community focused organization like Toastmasters, Kiwanis, or Rotary.

Your personal time offers an abundance of possibilities.  Non-profit organizations are often looking for volunteers to help with everything from yard work to stocking shelves or answering phones.  You don’t have to have children to support the Boys & Girls clubs or local sports clubs.  Remember to look for opportunities in your faith community as well.

Watch for the upcoming posts on the other Laws of Leadership and learn to lift the lid off of your own potential.

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I’ve been a fan of Maxwell’s for years and have recently completed the certification process to be on the John Maxwell Team and be authorized to teach some of his materials.  The 12 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership are one of the programs that I provide as a FREE introduction to the Maxwell Philosophy and to my style of teaching and coaching.  Bring these Laws to your organization!  Contact me today at peggy@kimmeyconsulting.com

want to review it to be sure you’re as effective as possible.  To help you focus, I’ve boiled it down to just three areas:

• Prepare
• Practice
• Polish

Prepare.  You have an idea – or you’ve been given an assignment.  Begin as soon as you can, to prepare yourself and gather your information.  It’s easier to cut out extra information than it is to stretch when you don’t have anything else to say.

Go to the Library to check out books about your topic.  Search for keywords on the Internet and read articles (beware the sources of that information).  What blogs come up for those searches?  Get a feel for the different blog posts from an author and read the comments.  Follow the comments to read other peoples blogs about the same topic.  Videos are an exciting way to receive information and for anything that’s a “how to” you can probably find a video on YouTube.com about it.  Are there classes you can attend, participate in online, listen to an archived version or download from iTunes?

Now that you’ve got your information, you can group it by topic, place it in a time line, or whatever makes the most sense to you.  If you need a refresher on organizing your information, go to my blog on being “Organized.”  http://presentationpointersblog.com/organized

Practice.  How will you be presenting the information? If you will be using any props (flipchart, electronic presentation, storyboards, etc) you must practice with them – including with any other people who will be presenting with you.  Out Loud.  Yes, you need to hear yourself, know how the words sound coming out of your mouth and any that are difficult for you, change them or practice to make them smooth.  Will you be using a lectern?  Microphone?  Notes?  You need to be comfortable with all these “extras” so you can continue to practice and put YOU into the message.  Your gestures, humor, change of pace or tone to keep things interesting – all those things that will take you from the level of simply presenting to effectively communicating.

So how do you know if you’re doing that – communicating effectively?  It takes two to communicate, so the last of the 3P’s requires another person.

Polish.   The definition of “Communicate” that I especially like from Merriam-Webster is: to transmit information, thought, or feeling so that it is satisfactorily received or understood.

The way to know if you are succeeding is to have another person set to receive, and then discuss with them what they received and how well.  This other person could be a co-worker, but if they already know the information they may not see what is not being communicated for some one unfamiliar with the topic; it could be a friend or significant other, but often they are clear in what you did not do well, but unclear how you could be more effective.  You could do surveys or evaluations from your audience and over time you will improve.  Also, check out Toastmasters clubs in your area: www.toastmasters.org

Consider hiring a presentation coach.  Even if it’s just to review and polish this one presentation that you are preparing for, the suggestions will be applicable to many other presentations.

You have an important message to share.  Do what it takes to ensure that it is understood.

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(c) 2012, Kimmey Training and Consulting, LLC. Peggy Kimmey is a public speaking coach for business people. She shows clients how to take the “eek” out of public speaking and become more effective communicators.

Contact Peggy at www.kimmeyconsulting.com

How do I recommend that you BE open hearted? We’ll cover three aspects:

• Clothing
• Body Language
• Words

Clothing

You need to dress according to the parameters that your company has established, even to the point of a uniform or attire with the company logo.  Use these suggestions as best you can.

Open heart starts at the neck and goes to mid-body.  You do NOT need to expose your skin!  But be aware of the number of layers that are between you and your audience.  A shirt or blouse is one layer.  A tie or scarf wrapped around your neck is another.  A jacket, especially buttoned, is another.  A necklace with multiple strands or large beads, another. An outfit can put people off, or draw them to you, before they even hear you speak.  Review your appearance carefully.  You need to feel comfortable and empowered in what you wear.  But after you’ve made those choices, look at yourself from the audience’ point of view. Don’t cover yourself with too many layers, building a wall between you and your audience.

Body Language

Once you’ve considered what to wear to keep your heart space open, the next area to consider is your body language. Practicing in front of a mirror or video camera will be a big help.  Be aware if how you stand – are you closed, covering yourself by hiding behind a lectern or holding notes or display items in front of you?  How much time do you spend with your arms crossed, one arm crossing your body to hold onto the opposite arm, or hands clasped in front of you?  Open up, using your arms to reach out to the audience, to the sides as well as in front of you.  Use wide sweeping motions to include many people.  Make eye contact with all areas of the room, not just the people on the front row.

Are you ready to act like a talk-show host?  While you speak, you move among your audience.  If they ask a question, be right there ready to answer.

Words

Your words are important.  Choosing inclusive words, saying “we” instead of “you.”  Ask your audience to respond to your information.  Are they simply in “receive” mode, or is there a real two-way conversation happening?  Avoid using words that judge (often we throw these in as filler while we think, not meaning to offend) like: obviously, of course, should, as I said.

Watch your verb the tense.  Instead of using passive voice, “Someone once said…” directly quoting them, “Gandhi said, ‘We must be the change we seek.’ “  Keep your tense consistent through out your presentation and make clear simple statements.

Using these three components to help you connect with your audience will support you in sharing your message effectively.

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(c) 2012, Kimmey Training and Consulting, LLC. Peggy Kimmey is a public speaking coach for business people. She shows clients how to take the “eek” out of public speaking and become more effective communicators.

Contact Peggy at www.kimmeyconsulting.com

What do you do when you can’t remember what to say next?  Here are some points to help you get back on tract and finish, with your nerves and image intact:

• Notes
• Be Honest
• Ask for Questions

Notes

In other posts, I’ve talked about the importance of writing notes and given you suggestions for using them.  Even if you feel you don’t need them, I highly recommend having something available to reference. If you are using visual aides (Power Point, flip chart, etc) glancing at them can be enough to get you back on track.  Otherwise, it can be a simple as a small card with your 3 key points and conclusion statement on it.

Be Honest

Breathe.  Pause.  Then look up at the audience and tell them that you just lost track of what you were saying, and ask if anyone can help you out.  Could this be a bad idea in some speaking situations?  Yes, but you can’t just tell them “that’s all!” and walk off stage.  It does happen to everyone and most often you will recover quickly with a little nudge from your audience.  The most important thing is to not let it ruin the rest of your presentation.  That is under your control.  Don’t rush the ending, make derogatory statements, or otherwise condemn yourself.  Some speakers have been seen in a more positive light after a “block” moment because their audience saw their ability to remain professional and still deliver a stellar performance.  That’s what you’re going for.

Ask for Questions

Besides asking what you were talking about, you could ask if there are any questions about what you’ve covered up to that point. This will not work if you are only in the beginning of your presentation or if there simply are no questions.  Also consider the timing – were you planning to take a break and would now be a good time?  You can ask that of the group also.

Be professional, be honest, be prepared, be human.

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(c) 2012, Peggy Kimmey. Peggy Kimmey is a public speaking coach for business people. She shows clients how to take the “eek” out of public speaking and become more effective communicators.

Contact Peggy at www.kimmeyconsulting.com

• Entrance and Exit;
• Feel it;
• See your audience; and
• Use it!

Entrance and Exit

Don’t let your first experience of the stage be when you are invited to come up onto it.  Arrive early and ask if you can have a few minutes up on stage.  First, notice the stairs.  Is there only one set or can you enter from either side?  Are they expecting you to enter or exit from a particular side?  Notice the steps: are they solid or shaky; is there a handrail; are they a short step or tall?  If you are a woman, especially be aware of being secure if you are wearing heels or a fitted skirt.  Pay attention both when you walk up and when you walk down.  It’s OK to look at your feet as you use the stairs, but once you are on level (the stage or the floor) rise your head and move forward with confidence.

Feel It

Walk all around the stage.  Know if there is a loose or uneven section.  Are there other things on the stage, (lectern, microphone & stand, flip chart or white board, display screen, curtains, electronics, signs or other hanging or dangling objects, etc.) either for your use or for other speakers?  Be aware of all of it, whether you intend to use it or not. Own them as items under your control in your space when you are on stage.   If there are pieces you will use, be sure to practice with them: markers are full of ink and a good color to be seen at the back of the room; projection clicker has fully charged batteries; you have a safe and accessible place for your water bottle.

See Your Audience

Picture people sitting in the seats in front of you.  Are they lined-up, one behind the other, or is every other row off-set for people to see between the folks in front of them?  You’ve seen the sign on the back of trucks: “If you can’t see me I can’t see you!”  This is true also for your audience.  They came to see you not just listen to you, and they will only sit tilted so they can see you for a short time. Use the space of the stage that you’ve been given and move so everyone can comfortably see you some of the time.  Even if you are confined to a lectern or immobile microphone, shift to the side some of the time.  Let your audience see that you are trying to connect with all of them even when it is difficult for you to do it.

Use It!

Assuming everything is set up so you have full and complete use of the stage, take time to consider your speech and how your practiced movements will fit here.  Should you make your gestures bigger?  Can you show elapsed time of a journey by moving across the stage?  Move back – forward – use the sides – peer over the edge.  This isn’t just where you are standing, this is an enormous prop ready and willing to support you in getting your message across to your audience. Use it!

These tactics will help you more effectively incorporate the stage into your presentation.  Taking the time to prepare, allowing yourself to become comfortable, and deciding how best to use it for YOU will make a significant difference in your nervousness about being on stage.
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(c) 2012, Peggy Kimmey. Peggy Kimmey is a public speaking coach for business people. She shows clients how to take the “eek” out of public speaking and become more effective communicators.

Contact Peggy at www.kimmeyconsulting.com

I’m not going to try to psychoanalyze why you have this fear – I’m not trained to do that, and it doesn’t really matter. What does matter is that you either want to be able to use a microphone without the stress you are currently having, or you are required to, regardless of how you feel.  So, lets get on with how to manage that fear and do it anyway (check out the book “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway” by Susan J Jeffers).

Things you need to keep in mind:

• It’s not about you.
• Practice for you.
• Practice for your Audience.

It’s Not About You

The microphone is being used so the whole audience can easily hear you.  You have an important message to share, but if they cannot hear you clearly, they will miss it.  When people have to strain to hear a quiet speaker, they will only continue for a short time before they are worn out and stop trying.  Then they will start thinking of other things, maybe talk to the people around them (ensuring that they cannot hear either), and the effectiveness of your presentation will continue to decline the longer you speak without being heard. That microphone is a tool to help you be more effective.

Practice for You

Learning to use a microphone effectively takes time, just like any “tool of the trade.”  A carpenter was not skilled when she first picked up a saw or power drill – she had to practice.  So get a microphone to practice with, or make time to practice at the site where you will give your presentation.  There are different kinds of microphones, so find out what kind you will be using, and practice with that style (or a toy replica).

Become comfortable incorporating gestures and vocal variety while still using the microphone effectively.  I’ve seen speakers hold a microphone in their dominant hand, then every time they used gestures, they moved the microphone away from them and their words were lost.  Holding a microphone at the same, consistent distance may become uncomfortable, but better you be uncomfortable than your audience.  If you need to switch hands, be sure you’ve practiced and know how to hold it effectively in either hand.

Know the speaking space.  If your microphone is stationary, you may need to re-think the body movement you were going to use to convey a long distance traveled because you need to stay in one place.  If you can move, but have a cord connection, know how long the cord is, and where it lies.  Be precise in your movements so you don’t over stretch or stumble on the cord.  Can you work it into your presentation, or at least if you need to adjust it, do it intentionally and seamlessly.

With wireless microphones, test speaking and walking around the room.  Often you’ll get feedback (terrible screeching) through your microphone output when you are too close to another microphone, the speakers, or other equipment.  Mark the floor with tape if you need to remind yourself where your boundaries are.

This may sound like a lot of extra effort when you already are putting time into practicing your presentation, but not feeling competent in any of these areas can throw you an unexpected interruption.  Those interruptions often derail an otherwise well-presented speech.  Practice.

Practice for Your Audience

When you are comfortable and in-charge of the room, your audience will feel comfortable too.  (Watch Cesar Milan the “Dog Whisperer” who teaches about how our energy communicates with dogs – it works for us too!)  Now that you are feeling more comfortable with using a microphone, take your practice a level deeper and consider your audience.  How do you sound through the speakers.  I know I need to speak more slowly and be more articulate in my enunciation.  Whatever kind of microphone, it needs to be below my mouth, so the sound comes out and across the top, or from high on my chest (clip style).  Test with some tongue twisters like “Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.”  Of you get feedback – like “popping” your P sounds – change the location or angle of the microphone.

If you have a point in your speech where vocal variety is key, practice that section.  If you get too loud you may overpower the sound system.  If you whisper, it may still not be able to pick up what you say.

You may never like using a microphone, but practicing so you become more comfortable using one and your success using one will help your fears diminish.

Keep at it – and please, post your success!

(c) 2012, Peggy Kimmey. Peggy Kimmey is a public speaking coach for business people. She shows clients how to take the “eek” out of public speaking and become more effective communicators.

Contact Peggy at www.kimmeyconsulting.com

When was the last time you heard an effective introduction?  Too often the introduction is either a boring reading of the speaker’s resume, or they are so built-up that we expect the speaker to amaze and entertain us – even if that is not what they are here to do.

You should prepare your introduction.  You can offer it to the person who will be introducing you, but be prepared for them to forget to read it, or say what they want to say instead.  If they don’t read it, be prepared to incorporate that information into your presentation.

What is your goal with an introduction?

• Make a transition
• Establish a mind set.
• Identify your authority

What to include:

• Speaker’s name
• Speaker’s topic
• Title of the speech

Other not-so-clear guidelines:

• Create a friendly environment
• Create a sense of anticipation
• Keep it short (30-45 seconds)
• Do NOT give a “preview” of the speech
• Do NOT praise the speaker’s skills or set unreasonable expectations
• Stay away from clichés

Here’s an example of introducing me when I gave a speech at my Toastmasters club:

Our next speaker, Peggy Kimmey, will be presenting an educational speech “Creating an Introduction” to help us learn to write an introduction for our speeches.  Peggy joined her first Toastmasters club in the fall of 1998, has achieved the level of Advanced Communicator Silver,  as well as being one of the sponsors for our club.  Let us prepare to learn what to do for the next speech that we present to our club.  Please join me in welcoming Peggy Kimmey.