Its Not About You

Posted on April 19, 2013 by peggy

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One reason people come to me for help with their communication or leadership skills is their worries about how they will be judged – on the words they choose to say, on the gestures they make when speaking…

The first tip I share with them is. “It’s not about you!” That comes as a surprise to them because they are “The Presenter” – the one who is sharing a message, standing in front of the board meeting, or being asked for guidance. And I’m happy to help them polish their communication skills.

But the bottom line is to understand what your audience needs. Who are they- Customers? Staff? Team Members? Board of Directors? You’ve been asked to share something with them. It’s about them – what do they need to hear? What do they need to learn from your experiences, your expertise, your guidance? How can you make their efforts easier, their burdens lighter, their decisions easier?

That does not mean “What do you want them to know?” It’s easy to slide into telling them what you want them to know about your products, about your project, about your challenges. But if it doesn’t help them get to their next step – to see their path more clearly – they will not be ready to hear your message. They have to see the value that your message brings to them.

Share from your unique experiences, unique talents, unique perspective. When you give them something of value that they can apply to their lives, then you have been an effective communicator – an effective leader!

Law of Intention

Posted on March 24, 2013 by peggy

As the month of March comes to an end, I realize that the first quarter of 2013 is also ending. I look back on the goals and resolutions I set for 2013, considering how I’ve continued to move forward with some… and not so much with others. What about you? Continuing as you have begun, will you achieve your goals?

What’s gotten in the way of your progress? I can rationalize what’s happened to me – but you’ve heard the play on words about those excuses being “rational lies,” right? If I’m honest, I’ll admit that I allowed myself to get distracted with unplanned activities.

The very first chapter in John Maxwell’s book “The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth – Live Them and Reach Your Potential” is about the Law of Intention and subtitled Growth Doesn’t Just Happen. Right away John points out eight “Growth Gap Traps,” basically our excuses for not doing the things that need to be done in order to achieve the things we “intend” to achieve. But better than simply explaining these traps, John finishes the chapter with action steps to get us back on track to achieving our goals. Because unless I take action, I’ll never reach my goals no matter how much I “intend” to.

I’ll share with you the step that had the most impact on me (from Chapter 1): schedule a little time each day to take action. Though I’ve heard it before, the specific direction to “Take out my calendar and schedule the time” was what I really needed to hear. I thought just “intending” to spend time each day, when I “had a few minutes” would be enough, but looking back over the last 3 months, it wasn’t. When I put something in my calendar, I’m pretty good about getting it done, and it’s there to remind me to add that time to another day so I stay on track if I missed it.

I’m looking forward to growing through the rest of this insightful book. But I also know that I’ve started other books before – even others with steps to implement along the way. I always “intend” to finish the book and implement what I learn, but… That’s why this time I’m doing something different! I’m gathering a Mastermind group to meet virtually each week, to hold each other accountable for reading and implementing the action steps, and to support each other with encouragement and a different perspective to give us all a better chance of finishing the book – and Reaching Our Potential.

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If you’d like to know more about the Mastermind group go to: www.kimmeyconsulting.com/15-Laws.html

3 P’s to Being an Effective Communicator

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There are many things to remember when you are preparing a speech and

: Peggy at Ultimate Business Expo May 2012

want to review it to be sure you’re as effective as possible. To help you focus, I’ve boiled it down to just three areas:

Prepare
Practice
Polish

Prepare. You have an idea – or you’ve been given an assignment. Begin as soon as you can, to prepare yourself and gather your information. It’s easier to cut out extra information than it is to stretch when you don’t have anything else to say.

Go to the Library to check out books about your topic. Search for keywords on the Internet and read articles (beware the sources of that information). What blogs come up for those searches? Get a feel for the different blog posts from an author and read the comments. Follow the comments to read other peoples blogs about the same topic. Videos are an exciting way to receive information and for anything that’s a “how to” you can probably find a video on YouTube.com about it. Are there classes you can attend, participate in online, listen to an archived version or download from iTunes?

Now that you’ve got your information, you can group it by topic, place it in a time line, or whatever makes the most sense to you. If you need a refresher on organizing your information, go to my blog on being “Organized.” http://presentationpointersblog.com/organized

Practice. How will you be presenting the information? If you will be using any props (flipchart, electronic presentation, storyboards, etc) you must practice with them – including with any other people who will be presenting with you. Out Loud. Yes, you need to hear yourself, know how the words sound coming out of your mouth and any that are difficult for you, change them or practice to make them smooth. Will you be using a lectern? Microphone? Notes? You need to be comfortable with all these “extras” so you can continue to practice and put YOU into the message. Your gestures, humor, change of pace or tone to keep things interesting – all those things that will take you from the level of simply presenting to effectively communicating.

So how do you know if you’re doing that – communicating effectively? It takes two to communicate, so the last of the 3P’s requires another person.

Polish. The definition of “Communicate” that I especially like from Merriam-Webster is: to transmit information, thought, or feeling so that it is satisfactorily received or understood.

The way to know if you are succeeding is to have another person set to receive, and then discuss with them what they received and how well. This other person could be a co-worker, but if they already know the information they may not see what is not being communicated for some one unfamiliar with the topic; it could be a friend or significant other, but often they are clear in what you did not do well, but unclear how you could be more effective. You could do surveys or evaluations from your audience and over time you will improve. Also, check out Toastmasters clubs in your area: www.toastmasters.org

Consider hiring a presentation coach. Even if it’s just to review and polish this one presentation that you are preparing for, the suggestions will be applicable to many other presentations.

You have an important message to share. Do what it takes to ensure that it is understood.

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(c) 2012, Kimmey Training and Consulting, LLC. Peggy Kimmey is a public speaking coach for business people. She shows clients how to take the “eek” out of public speaking and become more effective communicators.

Contact Peggy at www.kimmeyconsulting.com

Open Heart

Posted on February 20, 2012 by peggy

Open hearted communication – does that sound a bit unprofessional to you? I don’t mean that you need to be overly emotional, or inappropriately affectionate with your audience. But you need to be honest and authentic – open for them to receive who you truly are and for you to receive them and their ideas, needs, and expectations.

How do I recommend that you BE open hearted? We’ll cover three aspects:

Clothing
Body Language
Words

Clothing

You need to dress according to the parameters that your company has established, even to the point of a uniform or attire with the company logo. Use these suggestions as best you can.

Open heart starts at the neck and goes to mid-body. You do NOT need to expose your skin! But be aware of the number of layers that are between you and your audience. A shirt or blouse is one layer. A tie or scarf wrapped around your neck is another. A jacket, especially buttoned, is another. A necklace with multiple strands or large beads, another. An outfit can put people off, or draw them to you, before they even hear you speak. Review your appearance carefully. You need to feel comfortable and empowered in what you wear. But after you’ve made those choices, look at yourself from the audience’ point of view. Don’t cover yourself with too many layers, building a wall between you and your audience.

Body Language

Once you’ve considered what to wear to keep your heart space open, the next area to consider is your body language. Practicing in front of a mirror or video camera will be a big help. Be aware if how you stand – are you closed, covering yourself by hiding behind a lectern or holding notes or display items in front of you? How much time do you spend with your arms crossed, one arm crossing your body to hold onto the opposite arm, or hands clasped in front of you? Open up, using your arms to reach out to the audience, to the sides as well as in front of you. Use wide sweeping motions to include many people. Make eye contact with all areas of the room, not just the people on the front row.

Are you ready to act like a talk-show host? While you speak, you move among your audience. If they ask a question, be right there ready to answer.

Words

Your words are important. Choosing inclusive words, saying “we” instead of “you.” Ask your audience to respond to your information. Are they simply in “receive” mode, or is there a real two-way conversation happening? Avoid using words that judge (often we throw these in as filler while we think, not meaning to offend) like: obviously, of course, should, as I said.

Watch your verb the tense. Instead of using passive voice, “Someone once said…” directly quoting them, “Gandhi said, ‘We must be the change we seek.’ “ Keep your tense consistent through out your presentation and make clear simple statements.

Using these three components to help you connect with your audience will support you in sharing your message effectively.

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Contact Peggy at www.kimmeyconsulting.com

Speak Your Truth

Posted on January 8, 2012 by peggy

Before you share your idea, feel its value – its truth. Speak it with the intent that it will be received with understanding. Don’t worry about fancy words or choreographed gestures, just speak your truth.

The Merriam-Webster online dictionary describes intention as: “a determination to act in a certain way : resolve”. The resolve in your heart to share your idea, your information, even your assignment, in the best way you can – is a goal worth working for.

People often wait until the last possible minute to begin a task. Giving it the least amount of time, rather than the most, ensures the end result will be less than its possible best. Don’t let that happen to your next speech or presentation. Beginning does not mean completing. Gestation has begun and your project will see many iterations, many changes, before it emerges complete, polished, and clear. Give it – and yourself – the time and energy needed to see what it can become.

Visualize

Posted on December 31, 2011 by peggy

What should you visualize? Take a moment to mentally “see” yourself giving your speech successfully, beginning to end, using visual aids, answering questions, remembering the content. Allow yourself to feel confident, successful, and proud. To your mind, this practice is real. Now that you’ve given this speech successfully, giving it another time will be a simple matter.

Does this sound a little like the old suggestion “fake it ’till you make it”? Following that suggestion, your subconscious knows you are faking it and undermines you as you practice. I suggest that in your visualizing, you try the “what if” factor, asking yourself what it will feel like after you’ve practiced many times and you know all your information – your visualization isn’t a practice of how you’d do “right now” but of how you can be at your best.

Dr. Denis Waitley trained NASA astronauts and Olympic athletes to use this same process – to visualize their success in either their outer space duties or winning competitions in the Olympics. To learn more about this accomplished author and this process he teaches, go to his website at www.waitley.com.

The Gift

Posted on December 30, 2011 by peggy

“You are giving a speech.” I’d like to break that sentence down. Without You that sentence wouldn’t make sense. You are the most important part so the whole thing starts with you – literally. You are a very important part of the presentation.

The action is “are giving” something with the audience that you have spent much time and energy creating. Appreciate your own efforts and expect others to do the same. You aren’t taking turns, going around the room reading a paragraph or two like you did in grade school. This information is something that you have researched, taken time to organize, and have practiced in order to present it effectively. If you had taken the time to search for and purchase an expensive gift, you wouldn’t be ashamed and throw it at them. You’d hand it to them carefully, then watch with expectation while they opened it and were thrilled by your choice. Give this gift to your audience the same way.

Finally, what you have created, “a speech”. Better to think of it as a conversation with your audience. You share some information – they receive it and give you a response, even if it’s non-verbal. You watch their eyes, their body language, the way they sit in their seats. You know if they agree or disagree, are interested or bored, are confused or intrigued. You know if you need to go into more detail, or if your audience is with you and you can move to the next topic. Be in the flow of conversation with your audience.

Have you heard the saying “the journey is part of the gift”? Your journey to become a more effective communicator is part of the gift you give with each speech or presentation. Honor your efforts and expect your audience to do the same.

Kimmey Training and Consulting, LLC

Take the "eek" Out of Public Speaking

Category Archives: Inspiration